


of sticky notes and chrysanthemums

by jaemluv (orphan_account)



Series: CIX Drabbles [8]
Category: CIX (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hyunsuk is going through a hard time, I like bridges if you can’t tell lol, Implied/Referenced Suicide, READ NOTES, Seunghun is a saint, Tags make it sound darker than it is, also dont be like hyunsuk and get into random cars i promise it wont end well, bur they also scare me, but sometimes even strangers can make a difference, mentions of bae jinyoung, no honorifics, rated teen for mentions of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29215050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jaemluv
Summary: is this really what he wants?is this really what he’s come to?or hyunsuk seeks a way out and (thankfully) doesn’t find one(lowercase intended/see tags before reading)
Relationships: Kim Seunghun/Yoon Hyunsuk
Series: CIX Drabbles [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078679
Kudos: 15





	of sticky notes and chrysanthemums

**Author's Note:**

> hey  
> before i start, i’d like to give a trigger warning for a large chunk of this fic, please read with care & don’t read if your easily triggered by topics like suicide. you and your well being are always priority #1! remember that:)
> 
> i wrote the first half of this when i was in a rough patch about a month ago, and i didnt plan on even finishing it or giving it a happy ending- but here we are 
> 
> also a reminder that this is completely fictional and doesn’t reflect on anything in really life !!!!! i cannot stress this enough !!!!!!
> 
> thank you for being here with me! (and more canon compliant fics soon because those are my favorite!)  
> enjoy:)  
> [UNEDITED]

the hum of the old car radio fills the dark space of the vehicle 

his fingers thrum in a pattern on the seat beside him, and the gentle he feels the gentle vibration from the road under his shoes

the driver sends him a look in the review mirror, and he stops moving his hand

hyunsuk had been shifting uncomfortably in his seat for the majority of the drive, and he almost feels sorry for creating such a disturbance during what should have been a relaxing moment 

the taxi pulls up to what he can only assume is whatever random address he had handed him upon entering the car, and he exits, handing him a few bills before stepping onto the sidewalk

the cool air runs laps at his face, and he almost swears at himself for not bringing a jacket before he remembering that he won’t be needing one soon anyways 

the moon casts bright rays across the pavement, providing the only light for hyunsuk to rely on as he continues to trudge his way up the sidewalk

when he finally see’s his destination, it’s almost foreboding in a way

the bridge is larger than he expected it to be, but it’s also much emptier than he had anticipated as well

there’s a small lit walkway area going along the side of it, and hyunsuk walks on it for a while; it almost feels like he’s just an average person on a walk here- 

he wonders if the people driving by think he’s just on a stroll, that he’s just getting off of work and making his way home like anyone else

the thought almost makes him keep walking, almost makes his intention pass with the passing of his thoughts 

almost makes him forget why he’s here

_almost_

he gingerly swings a leg over the railing, and he jolts against the cold metal

_he’s scared_

a few cars honk at him

by the time his other leg is over and he’s sitting on the railing, he’s already considering calling a cab to take him home

the idea of looking down crosses his mind, and as much as he knows he shouldn’t do it, he also knows that he’s going end up doing it anyways 

by the time his gaze meets the water, he’s already whimpering, trembling with the fear of what happens when he _hits_ that water 

is this really what he wants? 

is this really what he’s come to?

..

_no_

he all but throws himself back onto the expanse of the concrete, leg catching painfully before his body hits the ground because _fuck_ , he can’t do it 

he’s shaking _hard_

hyunsuk’s sure that if he tried to get up his legs would give out from under him, and his head spins at the thought of being stuck here

_i wanna go home_

fishing his phone out of his pocket, hyunsuk opens up his contacts after realizing he spent all his change on the cab earlier

he clicks the first one listed, and presses it up against his face as it begins to ring 

_once...twice..three times_ and then-

“hyunsuk? why are you calling me this late? where are you?”

it’s jinyoung

_”youngie..”_

his voice comes out all but a whisper, and he hears rustling from the other end of the line

“hyunsuk, seriously where are you? are you alright?”

“jinyoung i did something _bad_ – god, youngie i messed up so bad”

“hyunsuk, what? you’re starting to scare m–“

_click._

the line cuts off abruptly, and hyunsuk recalls the low battery warning he had gotten before he pressed dial 

his phone had died. 

(would it be the only thing that died if he stayed here any longer?)

and _shit, how was he going to get home?_

another car honks, sounding much closer than the others, and hyunsuk nearly jolts right off of the concrete before barely registering the sound of someone yelling at him from a car window 

“hey! are you alright? do you need a ride?”

a voice in the back of his head that sounds like his mother tells him that he shouldn’t _shouldn’t_ get into some random person’s car, especially not in the middle of the night 

but what other choice does he have?

so he gingerly stands up off the concrete, body aching in protest, and shakily makes his way to the car pulled up on the side of the road

“just take the passenger seat, it’s empty”

when hyunsuk finally manages to drag himself into the car, the stranger looks at him with worried eyes

“what were you doing over there, anyways?”

hyunsuk shrugs and turns to the window, and the humming of the car engine turns to and uncomfortable silence 

the man sighs and pulls onto the road towards the address the other had muttered to him upon entering the car 

“look, i don’t know what you were doing up there– but if it means something, i’m glad you didn’t do anything stupid”

hyunsuk huffs out a bitter sounding laugh and turns to the driver’s seat

“why would you even say that? you don’t know me, and you don’t know what type of person i am”

the stranger (who hyunsuk now notices has and annoyingly sharp jawline and shiny chestnut hair) hums in acceptance “that’s fair, i guess”

(when they finally pull up to hyunsuk’s shabby apartment, hyunsuk notices two things:

1\. he’s shaking again  
2\. he cracked his phone after it died on the sidewalk)

groaning, he pushes open the passenger side door and before he can even start walking away, a dark green jacket is shoved in his direction 

“take it, it’s cold out there”

hyunsuk grabs the jacket hastily, hoping that the overly talkative man will _be quiet_ if he complies 

he all but slams the car door and _finally_ makes his way to the stairwell, fishing his key out of his pocket before walking up and unlocking the door 

when he goes to shut it behind him, he almost feels guilty because even after he’d been so mean, the stranger still waited to make sure he got to his doorstep safe 

maybe if he even runs into him again and he’s in a better mood, he’ll apologize 

(when he reaches into the pocket of the jacket, he finds a crumpled sticky note with a phone number, followed by words in messy handwriting and a dainty drawing of a flower

_for when you need someone to talk to:)_

_-seunghun_ )

hyunsuk scoffs and a feeling of hope blooms in him for the first in a long time

**Author's Note:**

> in case you were wondering, the flower seunghun draws a picture of is a chrysanthemum, which people say represent hope for the future, but are also associated with things like death and funerals in certain places (so i thought it was appropriate here)


End file.
